Gaining Male Privilege After Transitioning
In honor of International Women’s Day I wanted to do a shoot to bring awareness to this concept of male privilege. As a trans man, gaining male privilege after transitioning is extremely disturbing. I hate that I’m privileged now that I appear as a cis white man in today’s society. But I want to use that privilege to talk about issues like this. Femininity shouldn’t be seen as a weakness. Women are just capable as any man so society needs to start treating them like it. I want this post to bring awareness to this issue and hopefully it will help others recognize their privilege.
I lived 21 years of my life as a woman so I’ve experienced the difference in treatment when being perceived as a woman versus a man. The minute I started passing, I was immediately treated differently. Not just by men, but by everyone. I was treated better by society in general because people were reading me as a young, white, straight cis male instead of a woman. The difference is, I recognize my privilege. Although I am a trans man, I don’t immediately out myself in public, so people treat me with that privilege. Before transitioning the differences in how people talked to me and treated me was completely different.
I listed some things I noticed that changed once society started perceiving me as a man.
My opinion never mattered as much - Before transitioning it seemed like anytime I had an opinion, men would overlook it. Now, I have an opinion and men are all ears.
I was always talked over - Men constantly talked over me. I could never get a word in without a man butting in with his opinion. Now, they let me talk. They let me be apart of the conversation instead of talking at me.
No one took me seriously - Men could never believe that I, as a woman in the past, knew something that they didn’t. It’s like it was impossible for a woman to prove a man wrong. As a man now, I could say the same thing I said when I was perceived as a woman and be taken 10x more seriously simply because of my gender.
I was looked at like an object - I experienced the cat calls and the constant stares. I was treated like an object to men. Now as a man, I respect women enough to not comment on how their ass looks in whatever pants they’re wearing or how big a girl’s breasts are. Men will make comments to me now, as if I’m going to support the comments they make about women in public. They see me as a man and immediately think I’m going to disrespect a girl with them and think it’s funny. But I was in their place once. It’s not that hard to keep your eyes to yourself.
Men couldn’t keep their hands to themselves - Whenever I was at a bar or a club, I would always get the random ass grabs or the guys trying to grind on you without permission. They couldn’t keep their hands to themselves. Now, a guy accidentally touches me and they’re afraid someone might think they’re gay because they’re insecure in their masculinity. Just because they’re a woman doesn’t mean they want your hands on them. So keep them to yourself.
I wasn’t capable of anything - Men NEVER used to ask me for help. They always wanted to prove that they could do everything on their own. They never thought I could be of any help because I was a woman. But now, I’ve started to experience men constantly asking for help with things. Assuming I’d want to lift something with them or move something out of the way, carry something, etc. Small things, but the difference is noticeable.
No didn’t mean no - There hasn’t been one woman I’ve met that hasn’t been sexually abused in one way or another. The fact that it’s more rare to find a girl who hasn’t is sad. I’ve been through abuse myself, before transitioning, and I don’t wish that feeling on anyone. Don’t just assume a woman wants to do something with you just because you’re a guy with a dick. If you wouldn’t do it to a guy, don’t do it to a girl unless SHE gives consent.
I can walk home alone at night - It wouldn’t even have been a question if I should walk home alone at night prior to transitioning. Now, I have the privilege of walking home alone at night simply because I’m a dude.
There’s a lot more where that came from but I just wanted to give people an idea of the small differences in treatment after transitioning from female to male. It’s sad that it’s a reality but in today’s society men are seen as superior. I want to show that they’re not. So if you think sexism doesn’t exist in this world, you’re wrong. There needs to be more equality in this world and I hope my work helps to take a step forward in making that change. Happy International Women’s Day to all the strong independent women out there.
